Okay, so update:
after doing the things I said I was going to do (Fuel filter, EGR cleaning, made sure the switch was grounded), it hasn't been nearly as bad.
The fuel filter was probably the one that came with the car originally, it was bent, and when I blew through it, it took considerable pressure to force fuel/air through it, so I'm assuming that was the issue. Maybe at idle, the pump wasn't pressurizing the lines enough to force the gas through the filter.
I mean, I haven't taken it for a long drive yet (30 minutes is the longest so far, and it tried to kill every single time on these same drives previously) and it hasn't tried to kill on me.
So, fingers crossed, it's fixed. *knock on wood