So, still not dead. Just been a bit busy and have had some delays on things. My bank account is soon to be shorted about $1k in engine parts. I did end up getting the block into a shop and its going to be tanked, decked, bored, and all that good stuff. Then I'm slapping in some new weisco 9:1 pistons, fresh valves, guides, and other such things.
What we learned with this project so far: Previous owner had a thing for silicon sealant, in all the wrong ways sadly. The oil pan was held on with enough silicon to support the microprocessor business for the next three centuries.... but that's alright, kept the oil in (Unlike the VC gasket). However, that same silicon sealant had pressed out and worked its way into the pickup and into the oil passages... they didn't take so kindly to that and had been seriously clogged. As according to the professionals they said the keepers were pretty seriously seized and held into the head pretty well... but no damage had been done. Intake valves on the No 4 and 2 cylinders had been regurgitating exhaust&oil back into the intake system. Fortunately it wasn't disastrous, just the valves were pretty well fouled. Most of the exhaust valves were seriously fouled and didn't seem like they'd seat pretty well, but since I'm getting new ones.... maybe I'll make some cutlery out of the old stems. They make wrench-handled knives.... why can't I have a valve-handled fork?
Update of all the things that happened before the engine went to the shop:
I found a new favorite tool.... a big metal stick. (2' 1/2" drive breaker bar)
Head gasket was going bad, started to ooze oil through the layers.
And there's no evidence of valves getting *Ahem* 'Bitch slapped by pistons'.
*EDIT*
New parts are in. Here's a bit of a hint of what's going down.
9:1 C.R. set. Tasty stuff.
Full valves, guides, head bolts, main bearings, freeze plugs, Gates timing belt, AC belt, replacement lug stud to replace the one the P.O. sheared on the driver side front wheel, new axle nut (Mainly needed the cotter pin, as the old one had to be cut out, decided to just grab a kid because why not.), MLS Head gasket, and a freakin' partridge in a pear tree.
My bank account is sobbing, my college is probably going to find out, and my car is still waiting patiently for good things to happen. Life is good.